Hire Karl Malone!

The Jazz suck.  I think that much is fairly evident.  They are currently sleepwalking their way through an eight game losing streak.  Not only are they losing to good teams, they are losing to bad teams.  Check that, they are being embarrassed by bad teams.  With a few exceptions (all rookies or D-league call ups) they don’t look like they are even trying.  The Jazz aren’t nasty.  There was a time when opponents wouldn’t dare enter the lane in the Delta Center.  They knew that 6’9” of solid muscle (and elbows) would be there to punish them.  Ask Isiah Thomas.  He knows.  Opponents do not fear the paint against the Jazz.  The Jazz are soft.


Look, I know the Jazz are rebuilding.  No team is going to be able to thrive with the loss of an elite player and a Hall of Fame coach in the space of month without a period of adjustment.  That doesn’t excuse the lack of effort.  Against the Kings, the team leader, Al Jefferson, could barely bring himself to run up the floor after a missed shot.  He was outrun by a 900-pound King (a player so insignificant I don’t even know his name).
It’s too bad there isn’t someone to teach our talented rookie power forward some low-post moves.  Too bad there isn’t someone who never missed games (except when he was suspended for being too manly, or something like that) to teach our guys about heart.  Someone who never gave anything but 100% to teach about effort.  Too bad there isn’t someone who considered it abomination to come to camp out of shape to teach about commitment.  Too bad there isn’t one person who possesses all of these traits to come and be an assistant.  If only this person was only a phone call away.
Oh wait…there is…
HIRE KARL MALONE!